Taking it Whole
by Dillon
Summary: Soft yaoi story written for my Beta reader's birthday. Sanosuke muses on his birthday and comes to a decision. Contains explosives, malemale romance, and a copy of the Art of War. Brought to you by the letter D and the numbers 1 and 8


Written for my beta reader's birthday. Short, sappy-sweet, and possibly innacurrate. I like it, though.

I own nothing but my art supplies and a gallbladder in a jar. Sue me if you want them.

Ducking in the back door to his favorite bar, Sanosuke sighed. Finally, a place to be alone for a while. While it was true he only had one birthday a year, he didn't necessarily want to spend it in constant company. Though, and he smiled to think, it hadn't all been bad. They had his best interests at heart, and really, they only hounded him because, for some strange reason, they liked him. No accounting for taste, he supposed, motioning the bartender to bring him a drink. Sano settled in for a serious night. Tonight, he had things to think about. He smiled, running a finger over the fabric of the new shirt Kaoru had given him. His friends did truly care, but, he sighed, he wondered how two would feel, should they know the depth of his affection for them. Feeling uncharacteristically melancholy, he took a deep drink, and sighed.

Really, his birthday had started rather normally. He woke up in his usual place, did his usual things, dealt with his usual hangover. He actually didn't remember being a year older until Katsu showed up at his door, with a smile and a brown paper package. Sano had been too headachy and sore to think about it, but Katsu hadn't seemed to mind. The former child soldier had simply pressed the gift into his hands and a kiss to his cheek, and was gone before Sano could even respond, leaving him with an echo of 'Happy Birthday'. Sano smirked, he hadn't even opened the gift, he now realized, he'd left it on the low table in the living room, searching for hangover relief, and had forgotten it when he left for the Kamiya Dojo.

Sano drained his drink, left some coins, and turned to go.

At the dojo, his friends had surprised him. He wondered if he'd ever learn how hey knew, but it was rather nice. Kaoru and Megumi had actually worked together, and made him a new shirt. Yahiko had surprised him with some coins he'd saved, he couldn't think what to buy, but wanted to give him something anyway. The little girls, learning what the fuss was about, had run around the yard giddily, and pressed him with wildflowers every chance they got. Sano's heart had melted, despite the giggles and annoyance suffered at his receptiveness to the small gift. He now smiled, touching one still tucked in his hair, behind the ever-present headband. Kenshin had given him a warm smile, and handed him a bottle of very fine foreign liquor.  He'd had a bit of trouble pronouncing the name, but it was apparently from the west. He'd tried a bit of the amber fluid, and had pronounced it almost but not entirely unlike sake. Disappointed, Kenshin had tried some and been forced to agree. Sano smirked at the memory. He pondered the look in Kenshin's eyes, presenting him with such an unusual gift. It almost made him wonder… but no, the manslayer was head over heels for his Kaoru-dono. Wasn't he?

Rounding the corner into the small room he rented, Sano sighed. So much weirdness had happened today, and today was the day he'd chosen to decide…

Sano sat on the footstool in his living room, pondering over things. Mulling over the days events, his eyes fell on the small package Katsu had woken him over this morning. With a wry smile, he carefully undid the wrappings to reveal a hand bound, Heian-era copy of Sun Tzu's The Art of War. His eyes welled with tears, remembering the nights Sagara-Taichou would sit with them, discussing the principles of strategy, and disclosing their meanings. He had never failed to remind them that the methods and stratagem were no less important in peacetime, that the most important, the most skillful, was to avoid battle completely. Sano barely felt the tear fall down his cheek as he read the note Katsu had enclosed. Only Katsu would think to give him something like this, on Katsu knew him that well. Sano smiled, looking over the gifts he'd received from his new friends, kind but requiring little thought. He smiled a small smile, his decision made.

Walking down the street where Katsu made his home, Sanosuke felt somehow lighter, freer than he'd felt in a long time. He'd known his attraction to men since he was a young teen, but had never found one he would consider staying with. Maybe, had they been nearer in age, he may have tried for Sagara's heart. He chuckled slightly, thinking. Really, he _had_ had Sagara's heart, but in the way all the Sekihotai had. He'd loved Katsu then, but as a brother, a comrade in arms. He sighed a little, thinking. When he was young, he'd loved Sagara with all his heart, would have died for him. Perhaps that was why he'd been hung up on Kenshin, he mused. Another soldier, a man older than him, a model to build himself to. But Kenshin could not replace Sagara, would not want to. And honestly, Sano would not want him to. He treasured the memory of his Taichou, and the friendship he and Kenshin shared, but neither could be like what he felt for Katsu, he now realized. Katsu had been his brother in arms, his light in the darkness after Sagara's death, the only one to see him as he was, beyond the Zanza image. And Katsu made him feel loved, a part of a whole, like nobody else ever did. He stood now outside Katsu's door, nervous, excited, as he never had been before. As he contemplated knocking, the door swung open, and his friend smiled out, calling him to enter. Sano smiled, how could he have even questioned this?

Once inside, Sano looked into his friend's eyes, smiling, questioning, maybe hoping? What he saw in those eyes made him blush, they mirrored his own feelings back at him. His heart felt as if it would burst with love, and he called himself 12 kinds of ass for having waited so long. He opened his mouth to speak, but found it silenced by Katsu's warm lips. He was surprised at first, but then relaxed, wrapping his arms around the other man's slight frame and deepening the kiss.

Later, lying on Katsu's futon, wrapped in one another's arms, Sano found the question he had meant to ask earlier, how on earth had Katsu found, let alone afforded such a gift? As it turned out, it was Sano's own fault. Katsu had been alone and depressed after Kenshin and Sanosuke had derailed his attempts to revive the Sekihotai, and in his depressed state, he had found himself making small explosives, the way an old woman will knit while she's thinking. The explosives he made were the type he'd learned with- little firecrackers, small smoke bombs, coloured, jumping fire-buzzers. A thought had come to him, and he'd begun making more, in earnest, to sell during festivals and such. The idea had been a good one, and he'd been able to make a good amount of money, allowing him to buy better materials and make better paintings. On a trip to China for supplies, he'd seen a wall hanging, a calligraphy piece using a quote from the Sun Tzu. He'd remembered, as Sano did, their talks around the campfire, and when he'd found a copy in an old man's bookstore, he had not hesitated to buy it for his friend.

Sanosuke smiled, holding Katsu close. He whispered a word to his old friend, now his lover, Katsu smiled, and whispered back, "Tao is what causes the two to have the same purpose, that they can live together" He placed a kiss to the other's mouth "die together" another kiss "and not deceive each other."

Sanosuke smiled warmly, gathering his love in his arms. He turned to face the other man, kissing him soundly, and moving so that he leaned over, his hair brushing the smiling man's face. He leaned close and whispered, before claiming the soft lips again, "This is what is meant, by taking it whole."


End file.
